Knowing the Mind of God

As I was writing last week, I was reminded of an experience I had while I was searching for a new call. When I was being considered for a position at a particular church, I had the opportunity to interview with a Committee on Ministry of a Presbytery via email. (I will not disclose which church, COM, or Presbytery this was -- I will only say that it is NOT the church, COM, or Presbytery with whom I am affiliated now.)

Here's one of my "favorite" questions about what I had to say in my PIF (Personal Information Form) from a member of that COM:

Under the heading "Key Theological Issues" in Amy's PIF she states: "All Christians must recognize that whenever we claim to know the mind of God we are guilty of idolatry; it is God who calls us and claims us as members of the body of Christ, and not we who call upon or claim God as our own." I need some help in understanding what she is saying here. I would like to ask her: are you saying we cannot know the mind of God at all? Can you explain your statement a bit more, especially in relation to God’s work of revealing to us God's will, God's truth, God's mind so that we can come to know more about God and God's ways for right living? If God can make God’s will known to us, what do you mean when you say it is idolatrous to claim to know what God has revealed? I don’t think I understand what you are trying to say on this point. (see 1 Corinthians 2:9-16, esp. 10-11)

Here is how I answered the inquisitive (and, dare I say, seemingly anxious) individual:

God’s will and God’s truth are, indeed, revealed to us in the person of Jesus Christ by the Spirit of God, and through the Scriptures (again, only by the illumination of the Holy Spirit). Yet, while we (the Church) have received “the Spirit that is from God,” that does not mean that we now “know” the mind of God. Our finite, human minds cannot –- individually or in small groups -– ever fully contain or ever posses the mind of God. As Paul writes, “we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end…For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:9-12).”

It is the Church –- the full Body of Christ –- that has received the Spirit of God, and it is only together as a Body of Christ that we are able to begin to know the mind of God; and when God’s Kingdom is made complete, then our knowledge of God may also be complete. When we as individuals or groups (churches, denominations, affiliate groups, etc.) claim to “know” fully the mind of God, we are quick to forget that we are only a part of the Body of Christ; to claim that somehow one group or another is able to have the knowledge that God has is to once again fall prey to the lies of the Tempter.

In 1 Corinthians 2:12, Paul says that “Now we have received…the Spirit that is from God, so that we may understand the gifts bestowed on us by God.” Later in his letter, Paul goes on to more fully explain these spiritual gifts, taking great care to remind us that we are members of a body; we cannot live without one another (1 Corinthians 12). In order to accomplish this -– in order to live together as one Body of Christ –- we must have love for one another (1 Corinthians 13). Therefore, this is why I say this in my PIF: “The Church is called to live out the truth of Christ’s command to 'Love one another as I have loved you'. As we are confronted by a barrage of political and social issues, it is vitally important that the Church find ways to be open to persons of all political, socio-economic, and theological standpoints –- we will only be whole when the Church is able to embrace persons of differing views.”

When will we dare to get over ourselves, admit that we don't have all the answers (and that we couldn't handle it even if we did), and just let God be God...?

The Cartoon Song: A Reflection

In the late '90s, Christian radio stations were abuzz with the hidden track on the album Past the Edges by Chris Rice: Cartoons.



Without question, it is a catchy, fun little song. It presents us with a simple hypothetical to consider: What if cartoons "got saved"? And it is clever to imagine how those famous cartoons would say "hallelujah". And yet, as imaginative as this song is, the message that it sends leaves much to be desired...

The song suggests that "Beavis and that other guy" won't be or can't be saved. The slight pause and one word dismissal of "nah" makes at least some people in the live audience laugh -- there are some who cheer, even -- but, I don't see the humor or joy in it. Why is it that we think that these two cartoon characters can be so easily tossed aside? Is it their choice of dress? Is it their choice of music? Maybe it is their presumed education level or their choice of language? Why is it so difficult to imagine Beavis and Butthead getting saved?

The answer really all depends on your understanding of salvation. Some people believe that salvation is totally dependent on our actions -- that is to say that we humans have a kind of authoritative role in whether or not we are saved. Some say -- either with their actual words or with their actions -- that salvation is based on our believing something or doing something or saying something, as though our being saved or not is dependent upon our "works".

I don't agree with this understanding. You see, I don't believe that we humans (or cartoons, for that matter) have any authoritative role in "being saved". Salvation has nothing to do with any choice that I could ever make. It has nothing to do with any magic words or special incantations. It is not something that comes about because of our "works". Salvation is not something that we do. God - and God alone - is the one who acts through Christ. If salvation is dependent on me and my actions/choices, then that would mean that God is bound by me...and that is a really weak God! Salvation is a gift from God -- pure and simple.

So, I have to wonder... why say "nah" when considering what it would be like if Beavis and Butthead were saved? Is God not capable of extending the gift of salvation to characters like them? God doesn't hesitate to save Fred Flinstone, a character who frequently mistreats his wife. God readily saves Scooby-doo and Shaggy, who are known trespassers (and long suspected drug users). God has no problem saving someone like Yogi Bear, who is an admitted thief. And yet, according to the song, God has no interest in saving two teenage boys who like to watch MTV.

Really?!? I'm just not buying it... I wholeheartedly believe that God is fully capable of saving Beavis and Butthead! Do I know that God would save them? No. I don't know that any more than I can know if God would save anyone else! I don't claim to know the mind of God. This is why I find it rather upsetting that there are "Christians" who dare to make judgement calls like Chris Rice has in his song "Cartoons". There is no good reason to suggest -- even in jest -- that God has no interest in or ability to save someone...

Jesus said -- without mincing words -- that we are not called to make these kinds of judgements. "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get (Matthew 7:1-2)." It is pretty clear that none of us are in any position to decide whether or not God would save someone. If we're going to be judged according to the judgments that we make, then I am going to follow the rules of love and grace...

Roll Away Your Stone...

What stone could you roll away today?

Advent Re-Post

Advent is here! And followers of my blog may already be aware of the fact that I have a fun habit of having all kinds of crazy things happen to me during the Advent season. I am, apparently, a kind of magnet for these sorts of things.

Well, so far this Advent has yet to present anything too crazy... But, there are still 3 weeks to go. In the meantime, I thought I would provide you all with links to my favorite Advent-ures from years gone by: And That's When I Set Myself On Fire (Part 1) & And That's When I Set Myself On Fire (Part 2).

Enjoy, my friends!!

God, the Finder (a sermon)

The following was preached at the First Presbyterian Church of Washingtonville, NY on Sunday, September 12, 2010. The primary scripture lesson was Luke 15:1-10.

When we meet up with Jesus in our Gospel lesson this morning, he has gathered quite the variety of people around him. Townspeople, ordinary folks, religious leaders, Pharisees and scribes, and sinners and tax collectors. Of course, we're used to seeing Jesus with that latter bunch of folks - the sinners and tax collectors. But, the Pharisees and scribes are apparently a little taken aback by the company that Jesus keeps. And so we hear the Pharisees and scribes "grumbling". (They just never seem to be in a good mood, do they?)

"This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them!" The religious leaders are disgusted. And, they are full of themselves... You can hear the disdain and contempt just dripping from every word. "This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them!" These "sinners" aren't worth it, they think. These "creatures" are hopeless. Why would anyone worth anything - which Jesus claims to be, saying that he is the very Son of God - why would he waste his time with those kinds of people?

Of course, Jesus hears what they have to say. Most likely, everyone hears what they have to say. Rather like hot-headed people threatening to burn religious texts... or like loud-mouthed, hateful protesters at a military funeral... Everyone hears what the Pharisees and scribes have to say - they make sure of that. And Jesus responds. Not by chastising them. Not by yelling or reprimanding or turning over tables. Jesus responds by telling a story - a parable. He tells 3 parables, actually - though our scripture lesson today only includes 2 of the 3.

Jesus asks all of the people who are present: "Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the 99 in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it?...And what woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it?..."

Who among us is like that? Which one of us would do these things? Jesus asks these questions in such a way that they seem to beg us to respond "Well duh...we would," as if it is obvious that all of us would do those things without a thought. But, of course, it really isn't that obvious - it really isn't that way at all! Most likely, if we are honest with ourselves, none of us would do those things. Instead, we would cut our losses. We'd be crazy to risk the safety of 99 sheep - leaving them in the wilderness - to search for just one that is lost! It would be foolish to lose an entire day's work - or longer - to search for one list coin, when there are 9 other coins safely tucked away in our wallet already.

But Jesus, the asker of the questions and the teller of the stories, says: "Just what makes you think that these stories are about you? These aren't stories about how you behave - these are about how God behaves!"

If the Pharisees and scribes were grumbling before Jesus told these stories, they must have been fuming afterward. You see, the Pharisees believed that they had God all figured out. God was safe. God was predictable. God looked after the righteous and God damned the unrighteous. Everything was black and white. God had created us, given us rules to follow, and was now out there in the great beyond, waiting for us to obey. And only then - if we obeyed - would God welcome us. Anyone who dared to step off the path that they Pharisees knew and guarded so carefully were cursed. That was how God worked, they thought. And so, religion was all about separating the good from the bad. It was all about being righteous and staying as far away as possible from anything thought to be sinful, lest the righteous be "tainted" in any way...

Does anyone get the feeling that the Pharisees would have gotten along with Fred Phelps and Terry Jones?

Jesus tells a very different story. He paints a very different picture of God. Jesus describes God as a devoted, seeking shepherd. Jesus describes God as a persistent, searching woman. As Jesus describes, God is not some distant, hands-off rule-maker or taskmaster. God is closer than we think. God is relentlessly pursuing us! God values the "lost" just as much (and perhaps, even more so) as the not-so-lost. So, there is never even a question of God's simply cutting any losses and just shrugging off the lost - that sort of behaviour isn't even on God's radar. Regardless of any risks, God searches for us until we are found. It isn't a matter of "if" - it is always a "when".

Now, it is common to hear people say that they are "looking for something" when they come to church. Likely, we have all said it or thought it at some point ourselves. And, I suppose that the lost sheep in the parable was "looking for something", too. Yes, we like to think that we are here because we are looking for something - that we're searching for answers - that we're looking for God. And that's fine. There isn't really anything all that wrong with our thinking that. But, our scriptures describes something else. Time and time again, our scriptures describe sheep - people just like you and me. But we don't read about how these sheep go searching for and find a shepherd. We don't read about coins who search for and find an owner. No! We read and learn about a shepherd who searches non-stop for the sheep until they are found. We read and learn about a woman who turns the whole house upside-down for one coin until it is found.

Jesus tells these parables while he is sitting with sinners, and the Pharisees grumble about it. And, in effect, Jesus demonstrates with his actions - by his dining with the outcasts - the same amazing grace and love that God shows through the actions of the seeking shepherd and the searching woman. Jesus says to the Pharisees and scribes - to all those who want to put up walls and make distinctions between "us" and "them" - that he is exactly where he needs to be. Jesus says to those who grumble about his actions, "I came to seek and save the lost...why are you here?"

Father Robert Capon - an Episcopalian priest and scholar - said this of these parables in Luke's gospel: "The point is that what these two parables put together says is that what governs God's behavior to us is not our sins. It's not our problems. It's his need to find us. These parables go by the need of the finder to find, not about the need of the lost to be found... the universe is driven by the need of the finder to find all of us in our lostness."

God, the Finder, needs to find us - all of us. Now that is good news! No matter who we are, no matter where we are, no matter what we've done, no matter what we'll do, no matter what kind of "lostness" we are wrapped up in, and no matter whether we even realize that we're lost or not - God the Finder is searching non-stop for each of us. And God won't stop searching for us until we are found. And, when we get lost again... God will search again...

And every time we are found...scriptures tell us that the heavens will rejoice! There's a party like we can't even imagine every time we are found...

May God, the Almighty and Eternal Finder, find each of us - again and again. And may we all take a lesson from Christ, learning to dine in peace with our fellow "lost", resting in the knowledge that God will never give up on searching for each and every one of us...

I'm Not Keen On Shaving My Head, So...

Ok...so, I'm looking for ideas. Have you ever participated in a fundraiser or some sort of challenge for a club or group where the leaders name their goal and say that "if you reach this goal, then Bob (or whoever drew the short straw) is going to have his head shaved (or something like that)"? Know what I'm talking about? Usually, it is some school group that is challenged to raise several thousand dollars. If they go above and beyond, then the principle or that goofy science teacher that everybody likes finds that they have a date with some hair clippers.

For whatever reason, the only ones that I can recall always involve someone ending up bald.

So, here's what I'm wondering... Besides the tried-and-true "shaving of the head" bit, what other "rewards" could there be? I'm thinking about this, since I would like to issue a challenge to the congregation that I serve - and I would like to add a fun twist to the challenge. But, I don't really think that folks will actually WANT me to shave my head, so I'm guessing that THAT isn't the best "prize" to suggest.

Anyone have any ideas?

E-Z Answer Squirrel

If only...

Ring Them Bells!

In honor of my love of the Muppets, and in celebration of the Christmas and Holiday Season...

The Great Flood of 2008... in Rhyme

'Twas the week before Christmas,
and in Macomb, Illinois,
not a person was driving -
neither a girl, nor a boy.
The ice storm had come,
and much power was down.
The ice coated EVERYTHING
in this Midwestern town.
The Fourth Sunday of Advent
was only 2 days away,
and the pastor at First Pres
found she needed to pray.
A parishioner called
and needed some help.
"The church building's flooded,"
he said with a yelp!
The ice, it would seem,
had coated the church,
clogging all of the drain spouts,
forcing the water to search
for the easiest path
to escape from the roof.
So the water flowed inside,
where things aren't so rustproof.
The pastor's left eye, well,
it started to twitch;
she feared driving to church
she'd end up in a ditch.
But she managed to get there
with the help of a friend
(who's own church then flooded
before the month's end)!

It had flooded the Chapel's
newly carpeted floor,
and it dripped from the speakers
and was soaked up by the door!
It flooded the pastor's old office -
and how!
She was ever so thankful
to not be in there now!
The water flowed into
the Conference Room,
and the pastor wondered when
the adult class could resume.
Down in the basement
the water dripped, too,
causing ceilings to crash
and tiles to unglue.
They gathered up waste cans
from each nook and cranny -
the number of leaks
and the drips was uncanny!
And up on the roof
they caused quite a clatter;
as they chipped at the ice,
my teeth started to chatter.
The work to clean up
went on through the night,
as the pastor, sexton, and others
worked with all of their might.

The Fourth Sunday of Advent -
it came and it went,
for the ice storm made it too hard
to attend any event.
But the Christmas Eve service
went according to plan,
and we all celebrated the birth
of the Son of Man.

I Need a Laugh... Don't You?

This has turned out to be quite the interesting Advent and Christmas Season... There will be a blog posting after Christmas with all of the crazy, wacky details. I may not have set myself on fire this year (at least not yet), but this is definitely one for the record books.

In the meantime, I need a good laugh. So... Enjoy!

Java, Others, and You...?

So, my friend Gary shared this link with folks in my Presbytery the other day. I highly recommend that you check out the website, as it has some pretty interesting things to say about marketing your church. Seriously, folks, we need to wake up and smell the coffee...

Advent Musings

So, clearly I have not been able to blog in a while... It has been a bit crazy these last several weeks, so I appreciate any and all prayers that are being aimed in my general direction.

It seems that there is at least one thing that happens every Advent that is, well... unexpected. All you have to do is take a brief stroll down memory lane and read some of my blog entries from last year to see what I mean. While nothing has come crashing down so far, and I have (to this point) been able to avoid setting myself on fire again, there have been a few moments during this Advent season when I have found myself asking, "Really? This is what is going to happen this Sunday?" Since there is still one Sunday left in this Advent season, I will delay in writing about those adventures... at least for today. We'll see what this Sunday brings...

Oh -- if you haven't checked out the joy that is Wordle.net, you really need to wander over to see it! Check out this nifty creation (based on the stroll down memory lane that I mentioned above...)!

Thank You, Brother Leon...

This blog post by a fellow Presbymergent pastor, Leon Bloder, was a real gift from God to me tonight... I hope that it can be a blessing to others.

The Offering: An Emergent Theology Tale

Poll Results -- What Language I Should Learn Next (according to you)

I wanted to write a quick note about the results of the last poll that I had posted regarding what language you fine people thought that I should study next. I thought that the results were rather interesting, with 60% of you voting for me to study Spanish. I should say that I have studied Spanish before, but I could certainly use a refresher course or two.

Really, I had imagined that more of you would have voted for me to study Korean, but that only received one vote! I am increasingly interested in learning Korean -- especially since there are so many Presbyterian brothers and sisters who speak Korean that I would like to be able to communicate with more easily at presbytery meetings and the like. Although, I would like to brush up on my Spanish for the same reason...

I have not yet ordered the materials to begin my study, but I hope to be able to do that before the end of this year. At this point, I am feeling especially drawn to brushing up my Spanish skills; but, I imagine that I will be taking on a study of Korean before too long, as well. I am likely going to use Rosetta Stone, so I would be very interested to hear from people who have used these materials in the past (or present).

Further Reflections on the 218th General Assembly

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

Almost three months have gone by since the 218th General Assembly of the PC(USA) met in San Jose, California, and I find that I am still reflecting on the many things that happened there – as well as the many responses and reactions to what happened (or what is rumored to have happened) there.

The committee that I worked with was the Church Orders and Ministry Committee. I must admit that I was both very excited and somewhat anxious about working on that committee, as it was the committee that would discuss issues surrounding the topic of ordination. Prior to going out to San Jose, I spent hours upon hours reading, re-reading, researching, listening, studying, reflecting, consulting, and reading some more. I poured over the overtures, all of the supplemental material, the Bible, the Book of Order, and the Book of Confessions. It all made for interesting conversations with the staff at the local Buffalo Wild Wings, which is where I did much of my pre-GA prep – boneless buffalo wings, free cola refills, and Presbyterian polity… yum!

I think that I expected more division and, well, “fighting” in my committee. But, thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised. The majority of the committee was ready and wanting to truly listen to – and maybe even learn from – one another. Certainly, there were those who arrived in San Jose with their minds closed to any ideas or opinions different from their own, but it was my experience that the majority of folks were there to honestly discern and listen with patience and respect to the voices of all who had been called to serve the Assembly. We worked hard as a committee, and it was not easy work for any of us. And when all of the debates were closed and the voting ended, we wrapped up our time together in a time of worship. With the exception of about 3 people who were upset by the results of the last vote that we cast, the entire committee – as well as those who were gathered to observe our committee – shared in the Lord’s Supper together.

Yes, there had been moments of finger-pointing, name-calling, derogatory statements, or assumptions made on all sides. Some of the presentations and debates that took place were not what I would consider to be nice or (occasionally) civilized. The Church is not perfect – it is made up of people. (I recall Paul saying something about everyone falling short of the glory of God…) Neither the conservatives nor the liberals have it all right. But I believe that there is hope. There is dialogue that is happening between those who disagree. There are places where faithful Presbyterians are reaching out to each other from across the theological divide. I know that it is happening, because I’ve been a part of it. I have had the opportunity to stay in contact with a fellow member of the Church Orders and Ministry Committee who lives on the other end of the country – as well as on the other end of the theological spectrum. She and I did not agree on many of the things that were decided in our committee, but we are both committed to staying connected. We may not agree on some theological issues, but we both confess with glad and joyful hearts that Jesus Christ is Lord. We both have come to realize that if there is to be any real hope for the Church, we must be willing to honestly listen to one another – recognizing and acknowledging one another as fellow children of God and sisters/brothers in Christ.

On July 1, 2008, I wrote the following reflection on my blog:
I just got back from General Assembly... and my head is still spinning! I am amazed at what we were able to accomplish as a Church! Wow! I'm sure that there are a few who are reading this blog who aren't as thrilled as I am, but that's okay... It is our diversity which can make us strong.Now that GA is over, the real work begins. We re-affirmed our commitment to the recommendations made by the Peace, Unity, and Purity Task Force in 2006, which challenges us to be in conversation and communion with one another. While there are certainly some churches who will want to leave the denomination, I fervently hope that most churches will seek ways to be in dialogue with each other. The words of Psalm 133 continue to echo in my head. How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity…

I had one response to that post. He wrote: “I hate to burst your bubble, Amy, but the 218 GA has created more divisions across the denomination than any other.”

Really? I guess I have a very different take on things – and it isn’t because I agree with what all happened at the 218th General Assembly. I don’t agree with every decision that was made by the Assembly. But I have come to understand that God is so much bigger than all of our squabbling and differences. It is very true that my perception of what God desires for the PC(USA) is different from my neighbors’, but it is my firm belief that God is able to work through and speak through the voices of both people with whom I agree and people with whom I fervently disagree. We are called to trust God in the process – really trusting that God is the one who is in charge. God calls us through scripture to live together, work together, pray together, worship together, and witness together.

I pray that we will seek to live out our calling to live as brothers and sisters in Christ, so that our willingness to look past our differences and declare together that Jesus Christ is Lord can bear witness to the amazing power of the love and grace of God!

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

Presbymeme II -- My Response

Ok... time for me to dive into Presbymeme II. (I know that I wrote more than 25 words on number 5, but I shortened it as best I could...)

1. What is your favorite faith-based hymn, song or chorus.

It is a tie, I think, between How Great Thou Art and This Is My Father's World.

2. What was the context, content and/or topic of the last sermon that truly touched, convicted, inspired, challenged, comforted and/or otherwise moved you?

Using Galatians 1:6-10 and 3:19-29, my colleague challenged us to recognize that labels we place on one another are all erased in Christ.

3. If you could have all Presbyterians read just one of your previous posts, what would it be and why?

I would have to choose And That's When I Set Myself on Fire... Part 1.

4. What are three PC(USA) flavored blogs you read on a regular basis?

In no particular order: Good News from PGR, Presbyterian Bloggers, and reyes-chow::MODERATOR

5. If the PC(USA) were a movie, what would it be and why?

My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Some of our "families" within this family seem to be very different from one another - apples and oranges, even. But, as the father says in the movie: "We all different, but in the end, we all fruit."

Tagged: Pastor Julie, David Parker, David Esche, Joel Adams, and Landon Whitsitt.

Presbymeme II

Ok... so, for those who are unfamiliar with memes, you may want to read this (or this) first.

Our techno-savvy Moderator has blessed us with another meme - Presbymeme II! (Apparently, he initiated one a few months ago that he called Presbymeme 5... And, apparently I missed that one. I will be posting my thoughts on that one later.)

Today, I will post the rules and questions. Soon, I will post my response.

The Rules // Presbymeme II

• in about 25 words each, answer the following five questions;
• tag five presbyterian bloggers and send them a note to let them know they were tagged;
• be sure to link to this original post, leave a comment or send a trackback to this post so others can find you;

The Questions // Presbymeme II

1. What is your favorite faith-based hymn, song or chorus.
2. What was the context, content and/or topic of the last sermon that truly touched, convicted, inspired, challenged, comforted and/or otherwise moved you?
3. If you could have all Presbyterians read just one of your previous posts, what would it be and why?
4. What are three PC(USA) flavored blogs you read on a regular basis?
5. If the PC(USA) were a movie, what would it be and why?

You Just Can't Trust People in Disney Costumes Anymore

No, my friends, you just cannot make up news like this. It was the headline of "Beware the Preying Pooh" that caught my attention...

Say What?

So, I have always been pretty good at learning languages. It has been a while since I have taken a language course -- if we don't count Hebrew and Greek (since I don't speak in those languages all that much), it has been about 10 years.

So, the time has come for me to start learning a language again! And I am welcoming you into my discernment process on this as I try to decide which language I am going to learn (or re-learn). Just vote for the language that you think I should try to learn next (using the poll in the column to the right). Voting will be open until August 25th.

I may or may not go with the majority on this, but I assure you that I do not already have my mind made up right now -- I really want your input! So, help a sister out and vote, please!

Franken-Phone (It's Alive!)

So, my cell phone decided to come to life the other day. Really.

About a month ago, my cell phone started acting all crazy-like whenever I tried to use my bluetooth headset. All of a sudden, it wouldn't connect properly. So, I took it to the Verizon store and they gave me a replacement phone. The new one seemed to work okay. All seemed well.

But last week, my "new" phone started acting of its own free will. It started by hanging up on people while I was still trying to have conversations. These were not your typical "dropped call" situations. It stopped connecting to my bluetooth headset again. The "recent calls" menu would pop up without my even touching the phone.

I started to wonder if I needed to get in touch with a young priest and and old priest...

But this last Tuesday, my cell phone officially stepped out on its own. I was leading a training session on the new Presbyterian Women Bible Study. My cell phone was in my purse. Apparently, it got bored... so it called my dad. It was a flip phone. No way to "pocket dial". My bluetooth headset was in my car. And yet, according to my recent calls menu, I had called my dad a few times in the middle of my training session. I had even answered a few of his calls (since he called me back, wondering why I was calling and then not saying anything when he answered).

Maybe the young priest and old priest would have been a good idea...

Needless to say, I have a completely different phone now. And really, I couldn't be happier. How I survived this long without a phone that has a full keyboard, I'll never know. Plus, this phone doesn't seem to have a life of its own...